Kushi Sree Nidhi Buddha. That’s my name. I liked it, as it was all I had ever known. When you say my name, it just sits on your tongue, “Kushi.” Substitute teachers would almost always pronounce it wrong; they would say coo-she, or Queue si. It’s just Kushi. K U S H I. Kushi.  I never corrected them, as it would only make them more confused, even though the name is very simple to say. Either way, I love my name; it sounds beautiful, radiant, almost. I’ve learned to love my name. I’ve always been fond of the letter “K.” I don’t know if that’s just because it's in my name, maybe it is because I just like it, or if it is just some spiritual connection the governments are not telling us about.  I guess we’ll never know. My family has always loved my name; they said it was “made for you” and “perfect.” I loved that. I loved knowing that I was meant to be, that I had a place in the world, with a meaning. When I was little, I always used to ask my parents, “Why did you name me Kushi?” They always responded with something along the lines of:  It just felt right. Now, as I’ve gotten older and matured, I’ve learned to love my name and the meaning behind it, to reflect the positivity and joy in it as much as possible.
Yesterday, in my GT ILA Class, my teacher, Mrs. Morgan, gave us an assignment. It was all about me and finding myself. And now, here I am researching my name and interviewing my parents on why they chose to name me Kushi. As I am in the middle of writing this very sentence, it got me thinking, does my name really have any meaning to my family? So I did what all kids do these days, and I searched up my name. I barely understood a single word that popped up, so next, I asked my dad. He was always the more emotional one. I always felt more connected to him than to my mom. I also was just like him, from the way I talked to the way I think, but I look just like my mom, as everyone in my family had said. My dad explained how my name was something that was carefully handpicked, perfect from the moment I was born. He was telling me how, when I was born, I was such a happy baby. He loved seeing me laugh, and the name he knew was fit for me was Kushi.

Actually, the name “Kushi” is derived from ancient Sanskrit and modern-day Hindi, meaning happiness and joy. I always feel happy. Well, not so much when my little sister takes the last ice cream cone. 

The first person my parents went to when it was time to start choosing my name was my grandmother. She is an astrologer. In my culture, baby names were often chosen based on the child’s astrological and numerological principles of their star chart, or their nakshatra. It was auspicious and holy to choose my name this way, so they could know my destiny would be bright. 

I was born on September 10. I am a Virgo, and according to my star chart, my name had to start with the letter “K”. My parents had gone through at least a thousand K names before I was born, but when I came into the world, the first name that came to their minds was Kushi, meaning happy, and it stuck. 

My middle name is Sree Nidhi, meaning wealth and prosperity, symbolizing the Goddess Lakshmi. I guess my parents wanted me to grow up as a successful person.

Finally, my last name, Buddha. It means the enlightened, or awakened one. I have always been a Buddha, for the past 13 years of my life, and I’m proud of it, no matter what anyone says.

I don’t think any of these words describe me, but my parents think otherwise. I may not be the flawless, perfect girl everyone thinks I am, but I’ll always be the perfect child in my parents’ eyes, and I love that. I’m the oldest, and whenever my parents need help, I'm the first one they call. When it's time for dinner, they shout, “Kushi! Shreya!” Never the other way around. But because I've spent my whole life trying to live up to my imaginary perfect standards, I have gotten this sense of perfectionism, and it has really gotten in the way of everything I need to do, and want to do in life. But it’s okay, I’ve learned to live with it.  To my parents, Kushi will always be the firstborn child, the sunlight on a rainy day, the brightest star in the night sky, the smell of freshly baked cookies on a winter morning. It’s gratifying to know that I’ll always have a place in someone’s heart, no matter what. I’m just me. Ordinary, happy, kind, “perfect” me.

And the name Kushi Sree Nidhi Buddha, I’ve learned to love her, with all my heart, through thick and thin, through the sun and rain, through love and heartbreak, I’ll always be Kushi, and Kushi Sree Nidhi Buddha will always be mine, and mine only.